gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize