after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
