he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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