went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
