So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
