You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
