Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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