I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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