You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
