he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are the jesus of drinking
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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