dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
everyone is single if you try hard enough
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
