The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have fence marks all over my body
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
