it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize