i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
