Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize