jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
