:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dignity is for republicans.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
