i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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