before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
