maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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