I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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