So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
