I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize