..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize