Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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