Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
