ugly people sure do ruin things
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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