I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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