Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can't motorboat a personality
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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