And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
