How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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