By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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