I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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