was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
