Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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