I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
