He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
