yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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