I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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