First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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