Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
