what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize