WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
