I hope mine doesn't look like that
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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