Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
