You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
