I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
