I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sext me about skeletons
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
