ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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