Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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