I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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