All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
