I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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