worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ketchup is God's man juice
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize