i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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