Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh god it's open bar.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize