I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
