He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
