I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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