Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
