U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
