yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
