I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
