a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
