Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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