ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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